Down Down Down

Well I’m feeling quite… how do I say it… yuck? I mean I have a bunch of friends who have been getting into shape, eating healthy and losing weight.  I am so happy/proud of them!  My one sister Renata, looks fantastic! Like seriously you can tell she lost weight and I can tell that she feels more confident and happier because she’s always smiling now. Renata

Isn’t she just gorgeous?  So I’m wicked happy for them and just so proud but at the same time I can’t help but feel worse and worse about myself.  I know I’m sounding super whiney right now and kinda lame, but I’m not happy with myself right now.
This week has been rough to say the least with my training because I’ve been having some problems with my leg, where a muscle is really bothering me.  So I’ve cut down my running a lot this week and have run about 1/2 of the mileage I ran last week.  And I’ve also taken a few days off in order to baby my leg.  Which today it feels better so I’m going to baby it again tomorrow and then hopefully start seriously running again next week.

But its like the combined idea of not running as much/eating shitty/ seeing on my body that I’m gaining weight is all just putting my mood in a funk.  Like I’m just not happy and I’m not sure how to get out of the rut.

I managed to lift some weights and do some abs today at the gym, with the help of my friend Joe.   joe
He’s the super awkward one in the army uniform, since he’s in ROTC and such nonsense.

But anyways he has like legit abs and is trying to get me to do all this ab work this morning and I just looked at him and was like… “Um, you have actual abs… I don’t.  My body can’t do that.”   He tried to give me ab workouts to do so we shall see if I can manage to work them into my schedule.

I don’t know, I just want to be happy and happy with my body.  And right now I’m not in that mindset.  I realize I gotta work to make myself more positive, but I think I’ll take today to wallow in my self-pity and then just work to be more positive.  positive attitude

So I am coming up with a list of I can’s.  Here they are:

1. I can learn to not let as much stress me out. 

2. I can learn to have a life outside of my office, and actually hang out with friends.

3. I can learn to develop healthier eating habits.

4. I can workout more and learn that my workouts might not always go as planned.

5. I can learn to look on the bright side of life.

So those are my Can’s, I’m going to try to keep reminding myself of them in the next few weeks.  So that’s all I have for now, until later TTFN.

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