Trust in yourself and everything you do will be right.

I got the title for this post off of a fortune cookie fortune, one of the few good ones I’ve ever gotten.  Anywhoser, my life was quite busy and stressful- mostly related to Ryan.  I’ve found that when we are fighting each other and are generally not agreeing on anything I’m like 10x more stressed than I otherwise would be. And it all accumulated into a lovely disagreement around 2 weekends ago, where he actually ended up apologizing to me.  I was actually really impressed because he has never apologized to me for anything… ever.  So I know that probably took a lot for him.  So anyways, since then things have been going much better between us, which definitely takes away a lot of the stress I had in my life.
Now nominations for E-board of SGA start this Wednesday and I’m stressing about whether I’m going to be nominated for President, and whether I will win and whether I will do a good job.  Because that’s one thing- I’m always wondering if I’m doing a good job as Vice-President.  tea_party_poster_reagan_protect_the_people-r4e6c1c5c726b4883b1d8b48ad2dd50c8_adju_400
I mean I try hard. I want to be both the voice of the people and be there for them to talk to to raise any concerns that they might have.  I also want to be able to look at any situation and be able to help decide things calmly and with a fair head.  I don’t know, I guess I just care a lot about people and I want to be able to do everything that I can to help them.  That’s another reason I want to go to law school, to help the people.  There are always going to be people who need help or who are being taken advantage of and need someone to stand up for them and I want to be that person.
So that’s the dealio of what’s going on in my life currently.  I’m doing the SGA thing, the house thing, the school thing and the working out thing.  Although, today and yesterday I am taking off because I’m feeling a tad under the weather and I’d rather rest and be better tomorrow then go workout and be worse off tomorrow.

Oh and my friend Chris and I are in a disagreement about whose better Batman or Superman.  He says Batman and I say Superman.  So I posted this picture to his facebook to prove my point; batman vs superman

I believe it very accurately depicts how it is between Batman and Superman. But that’s just my opinion.  You can disagree with me, but you’d be wrong.  But I digress….

So yeah that is currently everything that is going on in my life right now.  It’s not super exciting as of right now, but that always changes at like a minutes notice so maybe it will get super exciting by tomorrow, who knows?!

So I need to get some work done before my house meeting, so until later, TTFN.

Down Down Down

Well I’m feeling quite… how do I say it… yuck? I mean I have a bunch of friends who have been getting into shape, eating healthy and losing weight.  I am so happy/proud of them!  My one sister Renata, looks fantastic! Like seriously you can tell she lost weight and I can tell that she feels more confident and happier because she’s always smiling now. Renata

Isn’t she just gorgeous?  So I’m wicked happy for them and just so proud but at the same time I can’t help but feel worse and worse about myself.  I know I’m sounding super whiney right now and kinda lame, but I’m not happy with myself right now.
This week has been rough to say the least with my training because I’ve been having some problems with my leg, where a muscle is really bothering me.  So I’ve cut down my running a lot this week and have run about 1/2 of the mileage I ran last week.  And I’ve also taken a few days off in order to baby my leg.  Which today it feels better so I’m going to baby it again tomorrow and then hopefully start seriously running again next week.

But its like the combined idea of not running as much/eating shitty/ seeing on my body that I’m gaining weight is all just putting my mood in a funk.  Like I’m just not happy and I’m not sure how to get out of the rut.

I managed to lift some weights and do some abs today at the gym, with the help of my friend Joe.   joe
He’s the super awkward one in the army uniform, since he’s in ROTC and such nonsense.

But anyways he has like legit abs and is trying to get me to do all this ab work this morning and I just looked at him and was like… “Um, you have actual abs… I don’t.  My body can’t do that.”   He tried to give me ab workouts to do so we shall see if I can manage to work them into my schedule.

I don’t know, I just want to be happy and happy with my body.  And right now I’m not in that mindset.  I realize I gotta work to make myself more positive, but I think I’ll take today to wallow in my self-pity and then just work to be more positive.  positive attitude

So I am coming up with a list of I can’s.  Here they are:

1. I can learn to not let as much stress me out. 

2. I can learn to have a life outside of my office, and actually hang out with friends.

3. I can learn to develop healthier eating habits.

4. I can workout more and learn that my workouts might not always go as planned.

5. I can learn to look on the bright side of life.

So those are my Can’s, I’m going to try to keep reminding myself of them in the next few weeks.  So that’s all I have for now, until later TTFN.

STRESSED!

Ok so there’s honestly no other way to say it, but that I’m stressed hardcore and its only the 2nd week of school.  And let’s be honest I didn’t really do too much the 1st week because it was my birthday week, so really this is like the 1st real week of work and I’m super stressed. stressed

    The Greek community on my campus is like being persecuted by the administration and it is all centered around the one woman who I’ve been fighting against with our Student Code of Conduct.  She just keeps adding fuel to my hate-fire.   But I’d like to digress…

My training has been down the shitter if you will pardon my french. (Side-note: why is that the saying when you swear?) I mean I took my 1 day off for the week on Monday because quite frankly I was feeling a Monday as the day off.  So I ran 5 on Tuesday and then I didn’t run Wednesday morning because I knew I was going to be up wicked late that night and I didn’t particularly feel like getting no sleep, but honestly I regretted not running. But I mean there’s nothing I can really do about it now.  And today I only ran 4, I’m not sure why but I haven’t been really feeling the running thing these  past few days.  But I don’t care I am still going to “Live like a clock” plus since I’m stressed beyond all belief it will should help, but I’m not 100% sure about that right now.

Oh, I got yelled at by Ra Ra this morning, that was lovely.  Needless to say it was not appreciated and I don’t like being yelled at, I never have.  Like even if its in class and my professor is yelling at the whole class my first reaction is to like start crying, I’m not sure why but it is.  Anyways, that was my first reaction this morning and thank God for my friend Joe who I love to pieces who tried to make me feel better and then when he realized it wasn’t working just gave me a hug.  I love Joe. friends

Anyways, I tried to be calm and tell Ry later why he was an ass in the morning later in the day, but it just ended up with us kinda yelling at each other while I walked down the hall. And quite frankly I’m still mad at him so I’m not talking to him and he’s not really talking to me and its stupid, but at the same time I’m mad so I refuse to be the first to give into this silence thing.  Either way, my friend/therapist Sean gave me a hug also and confirmed Ra Ra’s ass-like status so I do feel better.

On top of all this I have tons of homework and I have to worry about this girl Jully who ran against me for Vice-President who I beat running against me for President, which is super stressing me out.  So yeah, that’s all the things that are currently going on in my life.  Ugh, ok let me attempt to get back to work before I go to Sean and his awesome girlfriend Alicia’s performance!

Until later, TTFN.

FINAL stretch

FinalsI emphasized Final because well, it’s finals week for me.

And so I thought this was an appropriate picture for how I feel about the majority of my finals.

I’m kinda joking, kinda not.  I mean don’t get me wrong I’ve been studying like a boss and getting everything done I’m just never confident on exams- especially finals.

Anywhoser, I’ve had 2 1/2 sit down finals so far.  I say 2 1/2 because 2 of them were legit finals and the 1/2 was my 5 minute presentation on the research paper I’m handing in on Friday.  Yesterday wasn’t bad though.  I ended up in Ra Ra’s office for the majority of the day where I read some of the research I had to pick out the relevant stuff.  And then I made him take a break from his paper and finish watching Home Alone with me.

So that’s basically it for my day yesterday.  I just finished an Chem final that I’ve been studying for for 3 days.  And tomorrow I have a Western Political Thought theory exam so we will see how that goes.  So I’m going to get some work done and study some more.  Until later, TTFN.
Home Alone